to the tune of "O Christmas Tree (O Tannenbaum)"

Dirk Benedict, Dirk Benedict,
you took my life and wrecked it!
Dirk Benedict, Dirk Benedict,
I took my cash and spent it!
My family thinks I've lost my mind,
if this is how I spend my time.
Dirk Benedict, Dirk Benedict,
you took my life and wrecked it!

I'm not alone in shameful bliss;
the internet, it tells me this.
I swoon for you, I sigh, I dream!
It must be all part of some scheme.
From "Battlestar," the very start,
The "A-Team," too, you stole my heart.
It's not my fault. I'll stop. I can!
Oh, God, it's true. I'm still a fan.